


operation get over it

by Murf1307



Category: All New X-Men (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Crushes, Injury, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5988364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobby has a crush that he Needs to get over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	operation get over it

**Author's Note:**

> This is possibly the gayest, most canon-compliant thing I've ever written. Go me.

Warren’s not gay.Jean had said so, eight months ago, when she’d told Bobby that _he_ was gay.Which, wow.Not exactly a revelation, but it wasn’t like he’d been ready to _deal_ , or anything like that.

Thanks, Jean.

Anyway, Bobby knows that Warren is, most likely, not gay.Jean’s dating Hank, after all, so it’s not like she’d lie because _she_ wanted to date Warren, anyway.

This is such a clusterfuck.Such an incredible clusterfuck. 

So, anyway, incredible, astonishing, amazing romantic clusterfuck that the X-Men are and continue to be aside, Bobby may or may not have a thing for Warren.  Because, y'know, everyone has a thing for Warren.  Just like every straight dude seems to have a thing for Jean.

God, fuck, okay, he needs to stop thinking about Jean.  And Warren.  Wait.  What was the  point again? 

Right.  Bobby's big, ridiculous crush on one of his best friends.  Who is probably -- definitely -- not gay, and is hooking up with Laura, who's Wolverine now. 

So: problem.  No solution but the obvious. 

Bobby is dedicating himself to the cause of Get Over Warren. 

As soon as he stops staring at Warren's wings.  Again.  For no reason, because it's not like hasn't seen them before.  He was there when he got them, for crying out loud. 

He needs some serious help. 

* * *

"So, you have some experience in the whole 'person I'm into eats a cosmic force and winds up with fiery wings' department, right?" Bobby asks Idie, apropos of nothing, that night.

Idie, to her credit, doesn't immediately laugh at him.  She cocks her head, scrutinizing him. 

"Well, yes." she says, measuringly.   

"How did you get over him?"  

Idie sighs.  "I stabbed his future self.  After Wolverine stabbed him." 

"So, murder." 

"Do not murder Warren, or goad Laura into murdering Warren, because you have a crush on him."   

* * *

Idie turns out to be a horrible person to spill his innermost bosom-secrets to, because the very next day, Evan -- who is as earnest as a puppy, or if Superman were a Jordanian puppy, or something -- keeps looking at him with big sad eyes all day.

And Evan's cute and all, but the puppy eyes just make Bobby feel like a terrible person.  It's like Captain America's disappointed face, and Bobby did not sign up for this. 

"Please don't murder Warren," Evan eventually tells him, pulling Bobby aside.  "You don't want that on your conscience, Bobby." 

"You sound like you have experience there, dude...should I be worried?" 

Evan loosened up immediately.  "Oh, no, it's just that that usually worked if I was trying to keep Quentin from doing something that would've gotten him sent to Avengers Jail or something.  I thought it might help now." 

Bobby can't help but laugh at that.  "I promise, I'm not gonna kill my crush.  Scout's honor." 

"Okay.  You better keep that promise, though," he says, turning on the puppy eyes again. 

Bobby bursts out laughing. 

* * *

"Shit, something's wrong with my wing," Warren says, as Bobby forces himself into a sitting position at the bottom of the ravine.  He pretty much feels like one big bruise, but Warren sounds distressed, so he moves over to him.

Impact has bent the metal joint of Warren's wing, kind of badly.  "Well, fuck," Bobby says.  "Does it hurt?" 

"Yeah," Warren says, wincing.  "It'd be a shitty prosthetic if I couldn't feel with it." 

"Okay."  Bobby tries to come up with a plan.  "Would icing it help?  Because I can..." he trails off, wiggling his fingers. 

"I don't know -- it might?" 

Bobby ices up his hands and wraps one gently around the joint.  "How's this?" 

Warren makes a noise and closes his eyes.  "Um.  It doesn't hurt," he says, biting his lip.  The color in his face is higher now. 

Oh _god_. 

"Should I stop?" he asks, right away.   

"No, um, it's okay."  Warren looks so embarrassed, and damnit, it's a good look on him.  

Bobby defaults to his favorite old coping device, humor.  "Wow, I had no idea you had a weakness like that," he teases, pretending that it doesn't send something skittering up his spine to know that the ice is turning Warren on. 

Because that feels skeezy, really, since Warren's so clearly embarrassed. 

Oh god, he’s _feeling up_ his crush, who has a girlfriend.This is… _so_ bad.So, so _, so_ bad.

“Oh, shut up,” Warren mumbles, blushing even more.“Don’t tell anyone?”

“Your secret weakness is safe with me,” Bobby assures him.“But you should probably tell Laura about it — not necessarily about this, specifically, but, y’know.”

“…Yeah.”

“Also, if you keep blushing like that, your face is gonna stay red, I think.”

That makes Warren laugh, at least, which is much better.Bobby smiles back.

From above them, at the edge of the ravine, he can hear footsteps. 

“Guys?!” It’s Evan, who looks worried when he pokes his head over the side of the ravine and finds them.“Guys, are you okay?”

“Oh, uh, I’m fine,” Bobby offers.

“But my wing’s damaged,” Warren adds.“So we’re gonna need some help getting back to the bus.”

Evan’s eyes land on where Bobby is icing Warren’s wing. 

And it turns out that Evan has the worlds worst poker face, if the grin that breaks over his face is any indication.

At least he hides it quick.


End file.
